I've thought about starting a blog for a long time. I started one before my son was born... got one blog story up there, then he was born and now it has been almost 6 weeks since I logged in.
You may be wondering where that other blog is-- well, I decided to change my blog name, and I am not so blog savvy, so I created a whole new account. The post is there when I sign in but it is long, too long to add to this post, so I will save it for another time.
My life has been flipped upside down, inside out, turned this way and that way over the last 6 weeks. Being pregnant with my son was amazing, uncomfortable and comforting all at the same time. I have always wanted to be a mommy. I had a great mom and wanted to be that for my kids.
I have a little honeymoon baby. Maybe a wedding night baby actually. Maddox was born December 5, 2011 at 1:20pm. It was a long, tiring labor. I know, I know, all moms say that. I am not kidding you though. On Friday the 2nd my Dr decided that I should go to the hospital to be induced the next day. So my hub and I loaded everything up, and away we went.
I checked in, thinking this was going to be a much smoother process. I was only dilated to 1cm, so I had Cervidil, which is designed to soften the cervix. 12 hours of this. The nurses kept telling me to get my rest. Are you serious? I couldn't move because everytime I did, we lost the baby on the monitor. I had to lay on my back in an awkward sitting/lying position. Who sleeps that way? Not this girl. Then they gave me Ambien to sleep. Didn't work.
The next day at 7am, they checked me again: still about 1.5cm. Insert another Cervidil. Awesome. Did I mention that you have to be on bedrest for 2 hours when they insert this? All I wanted to do was go to the bathroom. I have never peed so much in my whole life. I cried. The nurse was annoyed. That made me cry more. She brought me a bedpan. I couldn't bring myself to use it. I almost peed the bed instead. Have you ever tried to pee with everyone watching and listening to you? It doens't come easily!
I finally had to give in-- only my husband in the room helping me-- and I was still a little stage shy. I was so embarrassed.
My DR came in about 5:30pm and we were still only about 2cm. She brought back the idea for c-section. She scheduled it for noon the next day. We would see how I progressed, but that was looking to be the route we were going. She left... 20 minutes later my water broke as I was getting up to go to the bathroom yet again.
I rang for the nurse. I told her I thought my water broke. She said she was going to check when I got back into bed. They could check this? News to me. Also news to me was the fact that once it has broken, it will continue to gush. Naive me thought that it just broke once and was done. Boy was I wrong.
Great. I was dilating more. I was to a 3 now. About 9pm I was to a 4.5-5 and was able to finally have an epidural. By the time the DR got there I was 5 and very ready. OK. 6, 7, and 8 came with no pain. Thank you Lord for drugs.
It is now 8am on Monday morning (recall that I checked in Saturday...) and I am 9. The nurse says to get ready because I am almost there. By 9am I am fully dilated and feeling so much pressure. I am ready. We are ready. We are going to have this baby! OMG we are going to have a baby! It doesn't really truly hit you till that moment I think. You are going to push this tiny (well it IS tiny, but at that moment it seems so huge, doesnt it?) life out of you. Hee Hee Hoo.... breathing is going. My life is in 10 second intervals as I push. My hub is sweet as can be, getting me wet rags in between pushes.
90 minutes goes by... I am tired and baby isn't coming. Nurse determines he is stuck. She calls the DR. She puts the DR on the phone. I tell her to get this baby out now. I need him out now! The pressure is beyond belief. It ISNT pressure. It IS pain. They shrug me off. They say it is just pressure. I ignore them.
It is 10:30am..where is the DR?? All I kept getting was that "she is on her way". BS. Her office is right next door. My poor hub is freaking out. He asked for a new DR... one in the hospital. No can do. "She is on her way".
I am writhing in pain. I am crying. I am telling the nurse that I am such a failure. She is hugging me and saying no one has tried harder to have this baby. Finally by 12:45 or so the DR shows up. (didn't she already book the OR for noon?) I am prepped and rushed to the OR. My husband is gowned and comes in shortly after.
More drugs. I go numb. I am exhausted. I hear them cutting and talking. I hear them say that our baby is stuck in my pelvis. I hear the DR. say that she can't get him out. I hear her say to lower the bed. I hear her say she has to cut again. I hear her ask for help pulling. I dont hear anything. I am terrified. My hub is looking at me. He is looking over the curtain. The baby is out. He screams. We cry. They take care of the baby. He is perfect. My husband gets to see him. I wait. They clean him. I wait. He cuts the umbilical cord. I wait. FINALLY they bring him to me to see. He is perfect. He is tiny. He is beautiful. They whisk him away.
They sew me back up and wheel me to recovery. My mom and friend are waiting. They've seen Maddox... they tell me how wonderful he is. I had to wait 2 hours till I got to have him though. It was the most wonderful moment I can remember. He fit so perfectly in my arms. I was in love.
I could share a billion photos of Maddox... and I am sure I will over the course of this blog.
BUT like I said, the past 6 weeks has been crazy. Two weeks after we had our sweet baby boy, we moved to Phoenix. My hub got his dream transfer and here we are. New adventures. New adventures.