Monday, April 29, 2013

The pill, PMS and baby names

I went off the pill last month or so. Maybe 6 weeks ago. I can't really recall the exact date. I am miserable right now. My poor body is in turmoil. Every other few days I have awful PMS. But my cycle hasn't started back up yet.  You know-- that awful feeling of it is about to happen but it doesn't? Every few days, y'all. It is terrible.

We want to try later this summer or early fall to have another baby. Yay! I am terrified and excited.
I mean, how will I handle another baby? One baby right now is a handful at several points in the day. He is such a curious and active little fella. He wants to run and be outside. He says maybe 10 or so words, but cant communicate with us beyond that, so at some point or points during the day, there is an epic meltdown over what he wants and what we can never get right. A constant battle is tomatoes are not apples. He forgets every time he sees a tomato therefore he wants that tomato/apple and when he cant have it or when I give it to him and he takes a bite-epic meltdown. That is a little example.

Tonight he bucked his head back and knocked the %^&* out of my temple. I sobbed. He didn't know what was wrong. It all started because he brought me cars and wanted on my lap, I let him up. The rest is a mystery. He just bucked that little head back and I saw stars.

He is a sweet boy, but whew he has a little temper at times.

I also worry about being pregnant again. I loved it and hated it. I loved that I could feel him and that I didn't worry that my belly was big. I worried constantly because I was high risk, and they told me that 99% I would be again. Towards the end, I was at the Dr. 3xs every week. I had to quit work the beginning of month 8. It was all just too much.

I am excited because I did love the parts I loved about being pregnant. I am excited for Maddox to be a big brother and for our little family to grow. I have ideas on Pinterest for the next little baby. I am so excited to just hold it in my arms. I miss those days. Can you ever get enough snuggling a new baby? I don't think so.

I have so many names picked out. We have a little girls first name. Olivia. We both love it.
The middle name is up in the air. We know we want to keep the Lee that runs in both of our families, and is both my and my husbands middle name, but that is the only part we are sure of.
We have come up with few ideas since I wanted something other than just Lee for a little girl.

Oliva Analee
Olivia Ashlee
Olivia Emalee or Olivia Emilee
(I also like Aubree and Emerson for girls too, but Olivia is our #1)
For little boys, we are all over the map. I mean ALL over that map.
A few things we have thrown out:
Landry Joel -Middle name after my dad
Emerson (although I like Emerson for a girl too)

Nothing is in stone for a baby boy. My husband is just set on him having a little girl next.

Do you have names picked out if you have a baby or another baby? Do you think about it? Are you the kind of person that would keep the name a secret? I know some folks who have kept their name a secret, and when all is said and done, it was because their baby name was... ahem... odd. My name is odd, so I feel I can get away with saying that. :)

My husband is not a secret keeper. He called both our families THE DAY I took the 9 test! We had names picked out boy or girl- before we even knew what we were having. We found out March 28 that I was pregnant and by May, we had names. We don't doddle LOL.


Sunday, April 28, 2013

Kitchen do-over

This week was filled with "things". Every day, some not every day, things.
We are doing a remodel on our kitchen. Let's preface by saying that there isn't anything wrong with our current kitchen, we just want an update. (You know, because we have lived here sooo long ha!)

When we looked at houses in Goodyear, I was 8 months pregnant. My Dr told me that I was getting ready to have the no fly restriction put on me and that I definitely should not drive the 5 hours here because I was "high risk". OK... so we had to find a house ASAP... and hopefully y sweet husbands MONTHS of Internet work with a realtor would pay off. We looked at 8 houses. Bought one. Weeee. I chose the house that said sweet husband liked, but didn't think that I would like too. Turns out, we were both so smart :)

Our house was mostly perfect. We loved the tile and the carpet. We loved the backyard and the pool. We loved the 3 garages (well I wish our main garage was wider) and we even loved the paint color throughout. Score right? What we didn't love was the kitchen materials used. We have upgraded cabinets, but not counters. So, we called and had several estimates and voila, granite installed this week. Our stove and oven was silly. It was separate yet right underneath of each other. Plus our oven was ridiculously hot. If I was cooking at say 450 and opened it. the fire alarms would scream.
So-- we had those cut out and got a fancy schmancy convection all in one stove/oven combo.
We have to do the back splash after this is all done. I like the stone. My hub is wavering between the tiles and stone. We will see. I might change my tune.

While we were on the buying spree we decided we hated our pub height table, so we bought a gorgeous round table. The wood is "supposedly' reconstructed wood out of India. It matches the style of our coffee table. I love that old look. It was delivered Saturday. Yay!

My husband is such the fix it up-- well- generally the hire someone to fix it guy--- so he decided that we needed a door in our main garage that led to the outside too, so we had a guy in here doing that as well. Lots of sawdust and dust and debris all week.  My house is never going to be clean again. HA.

A few photos of the journey so far:

The granite color we chose:
I will post more after all is said and done :)

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Garnier Oil Free BB Cream & got2be POWDER'ful

I've been trying new products via bzzagent. It's pretty cool and I must say that I love getting the mail when I know that I have a box coming. Basically, you complete several surveys, and agree to give honest reviews in return for free products or coupons for products.

Recently I tried two things:
I tried Garnier's Oil Free BB Cream. Can I tell you how stinkin excited that I was to get chosen for this campaign? I have wanted to try a BB Cream since last year when they became the new rage. I said rage. That was weird. Anyway... I wanted to try but being the loyal Bare Minerals fan that I am, and the "new mom who doesn't feel like she should potentially waste money on something that she may not like", I didn't treat myself to it. I was over the moon to be chosen. I anxiously awaited my bee box and tried it on right away.

The first picture, I did a half face. The right side of the photo is bare and the left is with the Garnier BB Cream. The second photo, I did full face, added a little lipstick, blush and mascara. The light is weird, sorry about that.

All in all, I am pleased with the Garnier BB Cream, but it will not replace my beloved Bare Minerals. I think that it is a great alternative to use during park playdates and running errands, but for a full face finish, I like a little more coverage.

The second product I tried was got2be POWDER'ful. It is a volumizing powder that you can either sprinkle in your hands or directly on your scalp. I wanted to love this. I was excited. I have fine hair. My hair isn't lush and gorgeous like BOTH of my brothers. I had high hopes and I was let down.
My hair felt goopy even though the package says it wouldn't. It didn't move, it was weather girl hair. if I forgot that I had it in, and flipped my hair or what not, it looked like major bedhead.

For me, this will stay under the sink and maybe get to come out when I have a big event that I am doing an updo for or for themed parties. Otherwise, I will keep my Bumble and Bumble root foam and my trusty backcomb.

Have you tried anything wonderful recently?

Fine print: I did receive both products free from bzzagent.


Friday, April 19, 2013

A tv real life: Watertown & Boston

I feel like I am watching a Criminal Minds marathon episode... but it is every news channel in the country. I know that I am broken record saying that I cannot believe this is real. I cannot believe that someone would be so evil and hateful. I cannot believe that seemingly normal men would have the capacity and desire to go on such a horrific rampage. I feel so saddened for the country right now. This, like many others, will have, and has had, copycats. People who want their glory day in the press. As much as I want to be informed and know what is going on with this manhunt, is it helping or hurting us as a whole? Will someone else see the coverage and want their time in the "spotlight" too?

I live in a quiet little community. So did the people in Watertown. I have neighbors of different cultural backgrounds. So did the people in Watertown. Nothing is different, and nothing is the same. I do not believe that this is a culture thing, a religion thing, a race thing.  This is a human being thing and it is just sickening and devastating.

I am living my life as a normal person. I took my son to the park today to meet one of our friends and play. I drank my Starbucks as if it were any other day. My husband was home with a contractor who is putting in a new stove and a door in our garage. He is outside now laying the flagstone he just bought.

Tonight I am meeting several moms from my moms group for dinner and we will drink and laugh and have yummy Mexican food. My husband will watch sports, and put our son safely to bed. We all will be alive and well.

My heart is still heavy for this nation. My mind is still racing with wonder and doubt. I was scared when I saw a man enter the bathroom at the park today. I was on high alert. I was scared when a man was at the park running and a woman was stretching near by. I hate that I have to be. I hate that my son will grow up in a world that we cannot let him play alone outside or walk to school. I hate that.


Monday, April 15, 2013

I hope

I struggle to keep up with this blog. I honestly lose  motivation because I feel sometimes that I write to myself, but then when I really think about it... that is what I am doing. This is my journal of sorts. My public journal, but mine just the same.

My husband came in and told me about the bombs at the Boston race today during lunch. So senseless, painful and horrific. He was talking to me at dinner about it as we watched the news coverage. I often think about tragedy. I don't know if that is normal, but ever since having my son, I cannot help but try to think of bad things and how I would be able to protect my child.

I wonder if I am going to be at the park and something happen. I try to keep an eye out for bags or backpacks. I try to memorize people and stare people I don't know in the eyes. I read once that you should make certain that "they" know you saw them- That you could likely identify them and that makes you a less desirable target. Does it work? Who knows. But I will do anything that I can think of to keep my baby safe.

My guy is 16 months old. He is such a ham. He sticks his tongue out all the time when he laughs and giggles. He loves iced tea. He wants real cups with crushed ice. He is a climber. A couch racer and a runner at heart. There is an all purpose field by us and we take him there and boy does he run. He can run one end to the other. It's like a hunting dog that you just let loose. As the Robertson's would say, "He gone".

I hope that this case is solved quickly and the cowards are brought to justice. I hope that the next park I go to is safe. I hope that I am OK after the grocery store and the bank.

I wish that I didn't have to hope for safety.... Be safe my friends.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

A life of leisure

We have all been feeling a little under the weather here.. Maybe it is the weather going crazy day by day or maybe colds. Who knows. Starting to feel a little more human now and taking care of business.

We joined Costco today. Again. We had a membership when we lived in Vegas but never went. We went twice in a year. Who does that? We went today with the intent on getting 3 things: chicken, fruit and slimfast shakes. How did we walk out $186 later? I think that is inevitable when you shop at big warehouse places. Everything looks like such a bargain.
Really though, you cannot get better fruit. This time and the couple times we went before, that is worth the membership in and of itself! The grapes are so firm and big, the strawberries so dang juicy and sweet. Just delicious!

Other than that, we have been taking it pretty easy. Watching baseball, napping, going to bed early. The life of leisure :)

Hope that you guys had a nice weekend too.

Catch ya on the flip side.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

It will change your life

I came across this post on Facebook a couple days ago...I read it and I cried. It is so true. No one could ever tell you what your life will be like after you hold that sweet baby you have been dying to meet for 40 weeks. No one can prepare you, and you can never prepare yourself. Life changes. Your thoughts change. Your actions and voice changes. Your heart changes.


"We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I mean...t at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.

That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.

I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.

I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart."

~Author unknown
Posted by Amber

Sunday, April 7, 2013


You ever do or eat or say something that feels normal to you but when you think about it, you know that it is certainly odd?

I do that a lot.

Here are *some* of my oddities:

*I will not dangle my hands or feet over the side of the bed. Maybe it goes back to the whole monster under the bed thing. Just wont do it.

*I must look in every stall of a public bathroom before I will proceed with my business. If the door is locked, I glance at the feet just to see that it is hopefully a woman.

*I ask my husband, or whomever I am out with, to stand outside the bathroom entrance and listen for me just in case. Call me crazy. I have had a personal story of a friend and have seen too many episodes of Criminal Minds.

*I must throw out the last few squares of tp before I will use it. Think about it. Someone else's nasty hands touched that when they ripped off their squares of tp.

*I see that I have a lot of public bathroom issues.

*Appliances must not be left on when I am asleep or leaving the house. I have waited for my dryer to finish.

*I can only read one book at a time.

*I like apple cider vinegar in my chili.

*I might have put peanut butter on a hot dog bun, added a hot dog, chili and vinegar and eaten it. Happily.

*I have eaten and enjoyed peanut butter and miracle whip sammiches. Don't knock it till you have tried it.

*I like saltine crackers with peanut butter smooshed in my vegetable soup.

*Apparently I have peanut butter issues.

*I use way too much toilet paper according to the Charmin commercials.

*I am a very messy teeth brusher. My husband can walk around and brush his teeth. Not me.

*Those girls washing their faces in the commercials like that and not getting soaked t-shirts are LIARS!

*I like white milk. Said white milk needs ice.

*I look in my backseat before entering my car, even in the garage.

OK, that is enough for one sitting :)

What are some of yours?


Saturday, April 6, 2013

MOM, 80's and melting.

We have been in Phoenix for 1 year and 4ish months and this week we heard about MOM for the first time. MOM is Market On the Move. It is this program that moves around to various churches each Saturday of the month. You go, pay $10, and they load you up with what ever produce they have for that week. They gave us 2 HUGE boxes loaded with peppers, cucumbers, squash, zucchini and tomatoes. Ya'll it was ridiculous--about 60 pounds!  I am going on a pining and recipe dig to make all sorts of yummy things. I know for certain that some homemade salsa and spaghetti sauce will be in there, along with baked squash and zucchini chips.

Although I despise the hotness of summers here, or anywhere in general, I do love that I enjoy crisp, juicy fruits and vegetables. My body just craves the freshness.

The mamas from the mom group that I am in had an 80s night last night. After all was said and done, we decided it really was more like a 90s party because we were all still fairly young in the 80s and we GREW up more in the 90s. See, we are not in fact THAT old. HA. Here is a little preview. Everyone said I looked like a diner worker.

My mom and brother came for a visit. I always enjoy when they come but boy they wear us all out. We are constantly on the go. We liked to show them around so much and go to so many events that I think we all sleep for a week after they leave! 

Our little boy is just growing so fast. He is 16 months old. I can hard believe it! I soon will have a 2 year old running around! He is just the funniest, sweetest thing. He laughs so much, sticks his tongue out, climbs everywhere and is just a joy. He makes my heart just melt.

Hope ya'll have a great Saturday!


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Frustrated with ... me.

There is a lot on my mind and heart lately. I want to change myself and how I look, but yet I still find myself heading towards the chocolate or the chips or the whatever. I also find myself not doing a damn thing to change. So do I really want to? YES. I guess I have given up on me. That should never be the case. I have got into a pattern of being "just a mom". I dont need to be cute and look cute and dress cute to go to the park or run after my giggling baby. But I do need those things to feel like I am also a woman and a wife.

I long to wear the cute clothes that I pin on Pinterest. On that note, I long to have the closet that I pin too... Sidetracked easily.

I have good intentions. It is putting them into motion that is actually the hard part. I wake up and think about starting the day off with a walk around the block. My son would love that. Then coming home and making a super yummy healthy smoothie and getting ready for the day. Then what happens? I wake up, I get our son, I sit on the couch or floor, look on fb, twitter and pinterest and there goes the start of my good intentions. I make bfast. I debate whether I should make something healthy, drag out the juicer or the blender or just pop some toast in the toaster. I try to make sure my kid eats healthy. I try to balance his diet and he is happy. I rarely let him have more than water or milk. He doesnt have bad foods often. And usually he is happy after a bite or two and moves on.
Lessons learned from a 16 month old?

I pin healthy workouts. I have never done them. I pin healthy shakes. I did drink spinach smoothies for a few days. They were good. Then I got bored with the same taste. I pinned more smoothie recipes, did I try them? No.

I did give up soda. That was a huge battle for me. I have been soda free for over a month now. I still crave it sometimes but for the most part, I am fine without it. Now my husband has been giving up soda too, so that makes it easier on me.

We have every intention of doing Dr. Oz's 3 day detox seen here and then doing another little clense program I saw. We are heading to a moving farmer's market this weekend to stock up.

Wish me luck.