I feel like I am watching a Criminal Minds marathon episode... but it is every news channel in the country. I know that I am broken record saying that I cannot believe this is real. I cannot believe that someone would be so evil and hateful. I cannot believe that seemingly normal men would have the capacity and desire to go on such a horrific rampage. I feel so saddened for the country right now. This, like many others, will have, and has had, copycats. People who want their glory day in the press. As much as I want to be informed and know what is going on with this manhunt, is it helping or hurting us as a whole? Will someone else see the coverage and want their time in the "spotlight" too?
I live in a quiet little community. So did the people in Watertown. I have neighbors of different cultural backgrounds. So did the people in Watertown. Nothing is different, and nothing is the same. I do not believe that this is a culture thing, a religion thing, a race thing. This is a human being thing and it is just sickening and devastating.
I am living my life as a normal person. I took my son to the park today to meet one of our friends and play. I drank my Starbucks as if it were any other day. My husband was home with a contractor who is putting in a new stove and a door in our garage. He is outside now laying the flagstone he just bought.
Tonight I am meeting several moms from my moms group for dinner and we will drink and laugh and have yummy Mexican food. My husband will watch sports, and put our son safely to bed. We all will be alive and well.
My heart is still heavy for this nation. My mind is still racing with wonder and doubt. I was scared when I saw a man enter the bathroom at the park today. I was on high alert. I was scared when a man was at the park running and a woman was stretching near by. I hate that I have to be. I hate that my son will grow up in a world that we cannot let him play alone outside or walk to school. I hate that.